stupid for you

last year i gave you
a can of corn
and something pink.

this year,
i’m giving you
a canned poem
that surely stinks.

no, but seriously-
if i could gift you
the sun and the moon
i would,
but you’d need to be
that all the planets
would revolve around
from that moment on.

would that be fun-
in the end?
to break up
the solar system
like billiard balls?
for mars to collide
with venus after
saturns ceases to spin?
to drop earth in a side
pocket and put down bets
that jupiter will sink stupider
than comic sans
on a billboard wall?

you’re very lucky
that i’m not any good
with delivering on much
that I say I would
if I could.
you’re very lucky, katey,
that i’m nine states away
or else i’d likely lasoe
a texas tornado
to wrap for you on my way.

but i’m not pecos bill
and you’re not calamity jane.
i’m just a bad birthday poet,
stupid for you, katelyn jane.

written on 01/09/2013 by: Matt Kane