My Inauguration Day Poem for James Franco

I woke up
to James Franco
reading his Yahoo!
News commissioned
poem for the President.
He wore his reverse
Hitler mustache,
half grown in;
Slumped in his white
t-shirt against a wall.
That was all I needed
to see
before going back
to sleep,
exhausted as Frank in
his seventies.

Summoning F. Scott
is just as boring
as reading F. Scott.
But thank you
for humanizing J. Franco
with that quip about burritos.
I made myself huevos rancheros
earlier. See, I know that trick
too. We all do; Us writers,
putting in the political stuff
for you actors, lamenting
Academy Awards,
that have never much mattered.

You were good in Spider Man.
I can’t say Spider Man
was so good though.
I think your performance in Howl
deserved production of
an Allen Ginsberg action figure
much more than the Green Goblin.
It’s okay though,
your poem.
I applaud you.

We both lack the ability
to grow hair
While I don’t bother trying,
you do.
That’s guts.
It’s sheepish shitty style
it’s guts. And guts,
like so much soul, matter
in this country.
Guts will win you that Academy
It won’t win me much. Maybe
a free burrito next time
I’m passing through for gas
in Asheville?

written on 01/21/2013 by: Matt Kane