Jesus Christ, the Lawn Ornament

Whether as concrete figurine,
hollow electric light nativity,
or burning cross by pointed knight—
each one is tacky as the next.
Stick with the plastic flamingo
or garden gnome variety.
Even His mother in blue,
arms outstretched
before Koi pond or just a ditch—
That’s fine—
and so too is the bonnet wearing goose
or lawn jockey holding out his lantern
for glassy eyed owls or squirrels.
But please,
keep Jesus off your front yard
and I will promise
to always pick up after my dog,
should he feel the need to mark his territory—
in a turf war with your sprinkler.

written on 12/20/2010 by: Matt Kane