i am, of course, faultless,
except that i make jokes
like that.

i let some remain nameless.
it is easier
to never learn their last name
or to forget their face;
though i saw it last
in a photo
on her refrigerator.
he was not smiling
and i thought something
must be seriously wrong
with him
and what was she thinking
being with someone
incapable of smiling
for a photo?

it occurs to me
i blame myself
whilst forgiving
carriers of fault.

or if not forgiving,
then not hunting them down
and carving their hearts out.
i’d get some pleasure
plucking out their toenails, first.

i am, of course, faultless,
except that i blame myself.
it’s easier on them;
harder on me.

“i can take it,” i tell myself.
“they can’t.”
i am sympathetic as a wasp,
sucking off my own stinger
for the sake of the asshole
stealing my nest.
“he is weak and i am strong.”
i gulp my own venom
and poison myself, smiling.

written on 01/09/2015 by: Matt Kane